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11/29/2006 List of postings: Sept '06 to Nov '06During this period the blog recorded over 11000 page views ... that's about a thousand hits a week! Thanks everyone for reading.
Popular posts this quarter included the one on spiritual dryness (9 Oct), and the four-part series in October on talking to your parents about full time ministry (17, 19, 21, 23 Oct).
People sometimes wonder where this material all comes from. Well, you'll be surprised to know that most of it is actually recycled material! Some are from our Wednesday night leaders' meeting (eg. 19 Nov), others are bits from my sermons (eg. 5 Nov), still others are things I've shared with our pastoral team (eg. 27 Nov), or from other workshops and training material I've developed (eg. 15 Nov)!
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
[ PS: during this period, which posts were your favourite? which posts did you feel strongly about? ] 11/27/2006 Conflicts at church: polarity managementYou see, in the past all conflicts were thought of as problems, each of which had a solution. And if you worked hard enough, you would find a solution to 'fix' that problem.
However Dr Johnson realised that this was not always the case. Some conflicts did not come about as a result of problems that needed to be fixed - some were in fact polarities that needed to be managed!
Dr Johnson drew the analogy of breathing, asking the question: is breathing in or breathing out more important? The answer is obviously that both are important. You need to inhale in order to draw air into your lungs and oxegenate your blood. However, if all you do is inhale, the negative aspects of only inhaling become apparent - you start to get dizzy, carbon dioxide begins to build up in your body - and you need to exhale. At this point, exhaling becomes a welcome change, and you are able to expel all that poisonous carbon dioxide from your body. However, if all you do is exhale, your body begins to suffer from oxygen deprivation - and this leads to you needing to inhale.
In the analogy of breathing, you can't say that inhaling or exhaling is more important than the other. Both are important - and what's critical isn't so much fixing the problem of inhaling too much or exhaling too much - but managing the need for the body to both inhale and exhale. And so breathing is not a problem to fix - it's a polarity that we naturally manage.
Dr Johnson's theory is that communities (such as churches) are continually rotating around two poles - and sometimes conflicts arose as the negative aspects of one particular pole becomes more apparent.
Take for instance St Blogg's, with a leadership team that is primarily focussed around care and nurture of the current congregation (A). This is great for a while - but after several years some people become dissatisfied about the church's involvement in mission and evangelism. The negative aspects of this pole become increasingly apparent (B). After several years of discontent this leads to a revolution in the life of the church - and the leadership team is replaced by one that is dynamic and outward looking (C). This is exciting for a while - until people begin to feel un-nurtured and exhausted. The negative aspects of this pole become increasingly apparent (D). And in a few years' time this then leads to another revolution - back to a more caring, nurturing leadership team... (A).
Such a rotation can take seven years to work itself out - and in the mean time can lead to a lot of unnecessary hurt and damage. Churches can be rotating around several sets of poles at any one time - and the Alban Institute identifies seven common church polarities!
At St Blogg's it wasn't as though either pole was necessarily wrong. Both are appropriate - just as inhaling and exhaling are both important! It's that the polarity needs to be managed before the negative aspects of any one pole leads to a throwing out of the baby with the bathwater. As the rotation moves along, what is intersting is that as people long for a D-A revolution, they forget all the negative aspects of Pole 1 that led to a B-C revolution three years ago. Instead, all they can see are the positives of Pole 1 that are the complete answer to all the negative things they perceive about Pole 2!
The first thing that churches need to do is to be aware that not all conflicts are problems that need to be fixed! Some conflicts may in fact come about as a result of a polarity, and should instead be managed. Having a common vocabulary for this will enable a church's leadership to consider this possibility.
And secondly, it's important for churches to manage polarities well. This involves having strategies in place to ensure that both Pole 1 and Pole 2 are accommodated for, and to listen carefully for adjustments that need to be made. [ PS: what do you think may be some of these polarities in the life of a church? ] 11/26/2006 Conflicts at church: choosing your conflict styleBulls can seem to be pushy. Owls can seem tiresome. Turtles can be frustrating, and teddy bears can come across as weak! But the intersting thing about the five conflict styles we looked at before is that each of them do have a time and a place for them...
On the following diagram, the five conflict styles are plotted on two axes - the vertical axis representing the importance of the issue, and the horizontal axes being the importance of the relationship. This diagram indicates when a particular conflict style is most appropriate.
With high importance issues, and where relationships don't matter so much, it can be appropriate to use a bull conflict style. For instance, in cases of danger, or emergency or safety, a bull conflict style is very valuable. If there's a fire, you want to get people out of the building fast. People may not believe you, but in this case it's appropriate to yell at them and force them out of the house!
But of course, you wouldn't want to overuse the bull conflict style - it will lead to a lot of people feeling unnecessarily hurt and abused!
With low importance issues, and where relationships matter a lot, it's best to use a teddy bear conflict style. Because the issue isn't really so important to you, it can be appropriate to just accommodate to the other person, and not damage the relationship over a relatively minor issue.
Of course, you wouldn't want to overuse the teddy bear conflict style - it can lead to you giving way on issues that are actually quite important!
And of course, you wouldn't want to overuse the turtle conflict style - you may end up being seen as uncooperative!
With high importance issues and where the relationships matter a lot, it'd be best to adopt an owl conflict style. Because you want to preserve the relationship through the conflict, and it's a significant issue, you will be willing to spend the time to get together with the other person, and take however long it takes to get a mutually agreeable solution.
And you wouldn't want to overuse the owl conflict style - it is very expensive in terms of time and emotional energy and other people will not appreciate long discussions about everything!
[ PS: down below is another diagram with the same material, but with the axes swapped, and with verbs instead of animals... ] 11/24/2006 Conflicts at church: conflict stylesOne of the things that can aggravate a conflict situation is in fact the way we handle conflict.
You've probably heard about the different personality styles that people have (eg. the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator). And you may even have heard about different behavioural styles that people have (eg. DiSC). Well, along the same lines, you can also identify different conflict styles - the various ways in which people tend to handle themselves in a conflict.
Because there isn't just one set way of dealing with a conflict - people respond in different ways. Based on the work of Kenneth Thomas and Ralph Killman, the Thomas Kilman Conflict Mode Instrument is a diagnostic tool that identifies your preferred way of dealing with a conflict.
In the TKI, there are five classic conflict styles:
If you think back to conflict situations you've been in, you'll start to get a picture of the conflict style that comes most naturally to you. And you can probably also pick the conflict styles of other people around you!
2. Crossed signals!
But the thing is that while you might have your way of dealing with conflict (and it makes lots of sense to you), the other people that you come in conflict with will sometimes have a different approach to conflict. And this can escalate a relatively simple conflict (more on this later) into something much more complicated.
For instance, a turtule's desire to put the conflict on hold until it can be considered in a less emotive environment can be frustrating for a bull. And a bull's desire to force their point of view will be seen as greedy by a fox. And the teddy bear's willingness to accommodate can be seen as unprincipled by the owl. And... you get the picture?
It's not as though each of the different styles are out to frustrate the others. But their personal preference is interpreted in all the wrong ways by those employing other conflict styles!
What all this does for us is give us an awareness and appreciation of the approach that other people may be taking. And it also gives us an awareness of how our approach may be perceived by others!
[ PS: next time, how to choose which style is most appropriate for which conflict! ] 11/19/2006 Conflicts at church: tread carefully!A well known verse, and often used to encourage us when we only have a small group of people meeting together.
But notice the actual context of that verse...
Surprisingly, that verse is not about prayer groups - but about conflict situations!
Jesus is telling us that God is very interested in how we handle conflict. Where else does Jesus mention 'two or three'? Up in verse 16, when Jesus was speaking about bringing witnesses with you to talk to someone about a conflict! God is there with us when we are working through a conflict situation. It's a serious thing for him, and how we handle ourselves in conflict is important.
Usually in a conflict situation we lose control of ourselves and behave badly. We speak unlovingly, we act ungraciously - and in the middle of it, it seems justified. But be very careful how you treat conflicts. Tread carefully - because God the Holy one is right there with you!
So. Are you blowing up the situation into something bigger than it actually is? Remember that God the righteous judge is there with you. Are you denying that you have done something wrong? Remember that the Lord searches our hearts - and he is there. Are you pretending that there's nothing really wrong? Because God who judges the living and the dead, he is there with you.
So in conflict situations, be extra careful to conduct yourself in a godly way - even though the temptation is to do otherwise. Because it's particularly at such moments we must remember that God is with us.
[ PS: remember it's also a comforting thing to know that the judge of all the earth is there in the midst of our conflict! ] 11/17/2006 Conflicts at church: conflict and Christian theologyBy and large Chinese culture tends to deny the existence of conflict, at least in public. This comes from a range of factors, not least of which is the whole issue of 'loss of face'. To admit to a rupture of the smooth operation of relationships with others is to admit to weakness on our part. It's as though we have failed personally and abnormally because we are involved in a conflict! Unlike all the other people who are functioning smoothly in their network of relationships, we will stick out like a sore thumb if we are in conflict!
And unfortunately, some of this is carried across into Chinese churches. And so people in Chinese churches will be very eager to deny the existence of conflict - even though it's obvious for all to see!
I once spoke to a man at a certain Chinese church who had decided to move to another church. And it was quite obvious that he was in conflict with a number of other people in church. You could see it in his language, and even his mannerisms. It was clear that a large part of his decision to move on was due to this conflict. Since he was moving on anyway, I suggested to him to seek reconciliation with the people at church he was in conflict with - a godly thing to do, really. But he strongly denied that there was any conflict at all! He insisted that there was nothing he needed to say to anyone - even though the conflict was there for all to see!
Not only is this unhealthy, it is first and foremost bad theology. Far from hiding it as a social abberation, Christian theology actually makes us expect that there will be conflict amongst Christians!
You can see that the Chinese approach of denying the existence of conflict, and hiding the evidence of conflict is just plain wrong in the light of Christian theology!
But not only is it wrong, it also teaches other Christians around us wrong ideas about conflict. If other Christians don't see conflict being worked out, they will think that Christians don't have conflicts. They will therefore learn to bottle up their own conflicted feelings. This will lead to feelings of guilt and hypocrisy, and will in turn lead to them being uncertain of their own salvation - because how could a Christian have such feelings?
No, Christians are justified sinners, and Christians do go through conflict. Our theology tells us to expect it! And so we should be open about conflict, and learn to deal with our in a godly manner. How? Stay tuned for more!
[ PS: the comic is from CartoonChurch.com ] 11/15/2006 How to do really well at PTC examsMoore College runs a correspondence course called the Preliminary Theological Certificate (PTC). There are a whole range of subjects that make up the course. Each subject comes with a booklet containing the course material, together with suggested research activities and further readings. Each subject runs for 10 weeks (corresponding to 10 chapters in the book) - you do it at your own pace, and there is an exam that you can sit at the end of the course.
However the biggest thing that turns people off the PTC are those exams! People are afraid of sitting PTC exams - after all, they are long, they often involve writing essays, and exams are in general not pleasant things! But they are a helpful way of testing your understanding, and motivating you to learn the material!
Now, I sometimes mark PTC exam papers on behalf of Moore College. So over the years I've read a lot of good exam answers, and a lot of bad exam answers. And I know the things that Moore College tells its markers to look for when marking papers.
So. Do you want to do really well in PTC exams? You do?
Here then is a PDF guide I put together for those at ND who were doing PTC subjects: How to answer PTC exam questions (3 pages, 20kb). In it you'll find essential information about the marking scheme, how we mark the short-answer section, and a look at the most common things that people do wrong in PTC exam essays!
The beauty of the PTC is that you can take it with you if you're going away on holidays. And you have the flexibility of going at your own pace and fitting it into your schedule. The next PTC term starts on December 1 - that'll give you enough time to sign up for a PTC subject. And the exam? Well, you don't need to be afraid of the exam - that guide gives you a framework to do well at it!
[ PS: anyone interested in joining a PTC group this term? if so, let me know! ] 11/13/2006 Christmas generosityThe thing about Christmas presents is that many of us in the one-third world is that by and large we already have a lot of what we need. And the things we don't have (but think we need), we are very good at getting for ourselves without anyone's help. It's great to be generous with our gifts to our friends and family - but the thing is, they don't really need our generosity so much. And so Christmas presents tend to be fairly unnecessary stuff that cost us lots of money!
It's great to be generous, but we're primarily meant to be generous to those in need, especially our fellow Christians (1 Timothy 6)! So then, here are some ideas for modifying your Christmas giving.
Firstly, our church is sending care boxes to our missionaries. Buy them something while you're doing your gift shopping, and put it in the box. Try to avoid bulky or heavy objects - and remember to include something for their kids. The deadline for putting things into the box is this Sunday (19th November). Why not increase your generosity to our missionaries, and decrease your generosity to your friends and family? Secondly, here is a link to TEAR Australia's Arguably the World's Most Useful Gift Catalogue. In the catalogue you'll find things like eye care ($5), emergency food or shelter ($30), a goat ($50), even a school building ($2000). The idea is that you buy one of these 'gifts', and TEAR Australia sends you a card with details about your gift. You then give this card to your friend or family member.
If your friends or family members aren't going to be so thrilled by such a gift, perhaps you can ease them into it. Maybe you can provide safe water for a family ($20), and bundle it with a block of chocolates so they don't feel entirely ripped off!
[ PS: we also tend to spend a lot on ourselves at Christmas ... maybe balance your giving to yourself with your giving away! ] 11/9/2006 Exam time stressNow, you might be tempted to skip out on church or your Bible study group to squeeze in those extra few hours of study. But be careful about doing that. You'll probably just end up procrastinating anyway, but that's beside the point.
You see, it's at times like this that you particularly need the support and encouragement of your Christian brothers and sisters. It's at times like this that you need to be extra careful to put yourself in the way of God's word!
These exams and major assessments will put you under a lot of stress. And it's particularly at these stressful times when your godliness is tested to the limit. Your tolerance of your family becomes very thin. You become concerned only about yourself. Your temper becomes sharp and hot! In short, it becomes even easier for us to act in an ungodly manner!
And so to take yourself away from the encouragement of fellow Christians, to take yourself away from hearing God's word at that crucially stressful point is really silly. As silly as a soldier taking off his flak-jacket and helmet at the height of a battle! As dumb as a rally driver closing their eyes at the most dangerous corner of the course!
Joining with other Christians in fellowship, and seeking out good Bible teaching are not mere hobbies that we do when we have time for them. They are the things that Christians do to keep us pressing on in faith and hope and love. And these things become all the more important when we are at our most vulnerable point!
So don't take off the flak-jacket. Don't unbuckle your helmet. And keep those eyes open!
[ PS: having said that, make sure that you are also diligent students! ] 11/7/2006 Make your own Puppet TheatreAn excellent way of communicating with children (and even adults) is with puppets. If you've seen puppetry at work, you'll know what I mean - kids glued to what's going on! Kids hanging off every word! Kids laughing at the lamest jokes! Yes, puppetry is a great ministry tool - though it's not without its limitations.
How can you get your church's children's ministry started in puppetry? Puppets, for a start. And training on how to use them and write scripts. But something that you'll use time and time again is a well-constructed puppet theatre...
A year or two ago, during the summer holidays, we had a sort of summer project at our church. This ran for several days - and people on holidays came along and lent a hand in designing and constructing a puppet theatre for our church. And over the course of three weekdays we designed the thing, bought materials, and made the thing into wonderful reality.
Here is a link to a PDF file I put together a while ago (NDCCCS puppet theatre plans, 46kb). It's the plans for the puppet theatre at our church, with detailed information on parts, equipment, and a step-by-step construction guide (7 pages long).
There are other plans around as well on the Internet - quite a few are commercial, and you'll need to pay for the plans. There are also a number of free plans available, but they may take some finding.
It does take some work to put together a puppet theatre - but as the saying goes, many hands make light work. Plus, it's great to fellowship around a task like this. And it's something that will be useful for many years to come!
[ PS: there's a photo in the 'Miscellaneous' section of the Photo Album of some of us working on the ND puppet theatre... ] 11/5/2006 Living to work?One of the reasons Asian businesses thrive all over the world is our capacity for hard work. And when we're not working ... we're studying so that we can work! Or we're resting so that we can work even harder! There is a constant drive to be productive in everything that we do. But beyond that deeply ingrained work ethic is a tendency that can be displeasing to the Lord...
You see, work is important - there's no doubting that. Paul even writes to tell off some Christians for slacking off and sponging off others (2 Thess 3:6-10). And Proverbs is full of the wisdom of working hard (eg. Prov 14:23, 18:9). We do need to work in order to live.
But the reason we live is to serve the Lord wholeheartedly (eg. Luke 9:57-62). Now that's pretty obvious, huh?
And everything else is a servant to that end. In this diagram, the blue element is the one that drives everything.
You can see this at work in 1 Thessalonians 1. There, Paul recounts that he worked hard to support himself (in fact, he calls it 'toil and hardship'). But when he does work, it's not for the sake of work itself. It's so that he can live, and that's so that he could serve the Thessalonians even better.
But we often get this equations terribly wrong. Yes we work to live. We know that working is important to earn money so that we can do the things we want to do. But when we live ... well, often what we do is we live to work! And so living and working kind of feed off of each other, and can draw in a lot of our time and energy and interest.
And so when it comes to serving the Lord, yes, that might well get squeezed in there somewhere ... if we still have some time left over to do it. If we can spare some energy from our studies, or our work, or our leisure.
For some of us what drives this equation is what looks like workaholism, but for Asians it's actually something called success-ism. We are addicted to being successful and the best we can be in everything that we do.
Not that it's a bad thing to aspire to, but look at what it does to the equation - our life has now been turned around. No longer are we living in order to serve the Lord, but we are living to work!
For others what drives this equation is a kind of hedonism. It's usually not as extreme as the Western form of hedonism (with lots of alcohol and illegal drugs). Usually it's quieter pleasures - like shopping. Or eating. Or having a nice house.
Again, it's not that those are bad things in and of themselves! But if they are driving the equation ... if that is the blue in your life ... Then again, it warps the equation. No longer are living in order to serve the Lord, instead we live for ourselves.
So - how are you going in this regard? Are you working to live - and living to serve the Lord? Or are you merely living to work?
[ PS: this is an extract from Sunday's talk on Romans 15 - read the whole thing here! ] 11/1/2006 School chaplains!The National Schools Chaplaincy Programme is not meant to be specifically for Christian chaplains (and so could mean Jewish or Muslim chaplains appointed to schools). And given the social trend towards 'diversity' and 'tolerance' it might mean preference shown towards liberal chaplains rather than evangelical chaplains. But given the number of people who are being trained in liberal Bible colleges compared to evangelical ones, this is potentially great news for gospel ministries in Australia.
If churches are able to work with schools in suggesting reliable and well-trained chaplains, this will mean a gospel ministry accessible to every school student, throughout their school life. And not just students - they are also expected to offer pastoral care to staff - and where necessary, parents as well!
It's up to individual schools whether they want a chaplain or not. And you can imagine that some principals may not want one. But if enough parents are keen enough for their school to put on a chaplain, you can imagine what could be done.
So you see, the danger is that with government money may come restrictions on faithful gospel preaching...
But even so, this may mean that church youth workers may be able to have a part-time role at nearby schools. And that there are heaps and heaps more opportunities for coal-face gospel ministry now available all across Australia. This means lots more people are needed for gospel ministry - right now!
[ PS: remember that most people become Christians during their childhood years - this is a very strategic ministry! ] |
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